Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer vs. a GMC Yukon

Times are changing, and Santa Claus hasn’t lived through hundreds of Christmases to be left behind when it comes to new advances in transportation. As he sits sipping cocoa by the fire and purusing a 2013 GMC Yukon brochure, the reindeer outside in the stable grow anxious.

They’ve seen the pamphlet with its glossy photos and vehicle information. The Yukon has power, stability and control, a GPS navigation system and even comes in Santa’s favorite color: bright red.

The reindeer are worried as they talk it over in the stables at night. “How can we compete with a GMC Yukon?” they ask each other. They all think a reindeer would lose any race against such a powerful vehicle…well all but one anyways.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose glowing bright and declares, “I can beat it!”

Santa’s new 2013 GMC Yukon is delivered a few weeks before Christmas. A dozen elves open the shipping crate to reveal the gleaming red SUV with the optional chrome package. Rudolph stands back and watches, feeling nervous. Can he beat this SUV in a race? Will Santa Claus replace his team with this 320 horse power V8? Snow won’t be a problem for the 4-wheel drive with enough towing capability for a whole sleigh full of presents.

The Yukon can run on gasoline or EB5, a mixture of gas and ethanol, while Rudolph runs on oats and Christmas cookies. The day of the race, it idles in the sun near the toy factory door. Finally, Santa Claus comes out of his castle and slips behind the wheel of the SUV, chasing a couple young elves who had been watching the built-in DVD system from the back seat.

The race begins. The Yukon surges forward over the snow-packed ground, its 4WD Autotrac system engaging smoothly. Rudolph’s hooves slip a bit as he leaps to start the race, but he catches up to the SUV? but not for long.

Reindeer can travel 15-30 miles per day when migrating, but not at a run. The GMC Yukon gets 21 highway miles per gallon and can run all day long. Rudolph gives up after a few miles, but the Yukon roars into the distance, spraying snow as Santa bellows out, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Santa Claus may be impressed with the 2013 GMC Yukon, and it surely is a powerful SUV, but Rudolph really has nothing to worry about. Even though the GPS could lead Santa around the world as well as Rudolph could, the Yukon cannot fly. It can’t land on roofs so Santa can slip down chimneys and fill the stockings of good girls and boys. The GMC Yukon might not replace Santa’s sleigh and reindeer as his favorite transportation, but it could certainly put some cheer into the holiday season.